Spiritual Living

Promises made, promises broken. How many times have you heard yourself “I will never….” Fill in the blank with whatever the behavior is. For example the number of times an alcoholic says s/he will never drink again, will never go the bar again, and swears off drinking only to wake up again hung over and repeating the words of swearing off again. Promises we make to ourselves, to our families, and to those who are closest in our lives that we will never gamble again, smoke again, drink again, or use that drug again only to find ourselves there one more time. Asking ourselves what happened, how did we pick up and repeat this same mistake one more time.

12-step programs tell us through step work that we are powerless and cannot manage our lives alone that it takes a belief in a power greater than self. That without that belief we will continue to repeat the same mistakes and keep locked into a pattern that is self-destructive. But when we swear off the behavior/substance and intend to create a healthier life style it takes much more than just a desire to change, it takes practice to develop that new belief and overcome the old. It is the old way of thinking that keeps us locked into using drugs, alcohol, gambling, food, sex, and cigarettes to create a better mood, take us out of ourselves. Swearing off and making promises is not enough, nor is it a plan that you can work alone. Human and Divine must be involved in your plan to change, to create a healthier life, and keep it.

When you pick up again after swearing off it does not mean that you have failed, yet you have not succeeded either, it is not a call for punishment. It is in every sense a disease, curable, but not without treatment. That treatment involves finding someone you can trust to listen without judgment, without recrimination, who will never use what you share with them against you or tell others. That person needs to have your best interest at heart and not as a matter of expecting your success so s/he will look good. The person you select will want you to succeed because you are worth it, because you have a great deal to offer the world and will be the next in line to help the next person seeking answers.

This person can carry many labels including substance abuse counselor, counselor, therapist, clinical social worker, psychiatrist, psychologist, minister, or coach. There are several labels to sort through. The other source for help is the many different centers offering treatment for substance abuse, alcoholism, gambling, and other addictive problems. For members of 12-step programs there are sponsors, these are individuals who have been involved in the program for a length of time, have “worked” all the steps.

Interviews are important to find the right person to help with your journey. Know what your goals are in recovery, what aspects of your life you wish to change, get to know the person, hang out after the meeting, get his/her number and call. Share what you feel safe sharing, do not dump all your “baggage” at one time. Share about your hopes and desires, and listen to theirs. Ask about their goals, their journey; find the commonalities and the differences. Is this person doing what it is you seek to accomplish, living the life you are seeking to achieve? Is this person patient and understanding?  Do you share similar life histories and how does s/he handle the problems in life? These are only a few of the most important questions you could ever ask a person you are seeking to share your recovery journey with. Remember it is not engraved in stone, if you find that there are problems with your relationship that cannot get worked out then you can find another sponsor. However, all relationships have problems in the beginning and it is likely that you will feel disappointed at times, upset at others, and may not be able to always reach him/her.

Recovery is a one day at a time journey, in some cases one second at a time, be patient with yourself and find a sense of humor. Find those who share in your journey, will listen, and love you until you can love yourself. If faced with childhood abuse find the professional that can help you recover, these types of problems cannot be fixed in a 12-step recovery program, your sponsor and support group are not equipped to deal with the trauma. They can be supportive, but it is almost certain that they have not recovered from their trauma enough to cope with yours. Be gentle with your friends and yourself, take it a moment at a time. Life cannot be lived in one breath.

Today I want to focus on making self- amends, what this truly means. When we learn to make amends, what the difference is between sorry and apologize then it is time to take a closer look at self. In what ways have we hurt ourselves either by direct behaviors such as self-talk, cutting, over-eating, drug abuse including cigarettes and alcohol, misusing medications both prescribed and over the counter, gambling, and a myriad of other behaviors. Self-punishment occurs subtly, not always so obviously, yet there are those tantrums that are blatant and are on a conscious level. The subtleties are as simple as phrases like “That was stupid of me,” asking someone else to validate the thought and seeking to pick a fight with someone.

Making an amends to others is not easy; facing the attitudes of those we choose to face can be difficult and sometimes terrifying. That is why it is important to find a trusted friend or relative, someone you can confide in and discuss the problem you feel you need to make an amends for. In some cases it just is not prudent to face the person and make the amends; it could be dangerous to you or harmful to that person. An example that comes to mind is having slept with that person’s mate, perhaps betrayed another form of trust and telling the person you apologize for the behavior would only cause him/her grief. This would only compound the issue and as a result you would need to make another apology.

These types of situations and self-amends calls for a “living amends.” A living amends is the one where you strive to never repeat the offending and harmful behavior again. You let go of the pain you feel about the behavior, if any, and learn how to not do it again. This means self-reflection, forgiving yourself, and seeking guidance. If the behavior is self-harm such as drug/alcohol abuse, cutting, gambling, or any other behavior meant to bring self-harm, then you will seek out the guidance required to support you in making the lifestyle change. Letting go of a behavior that is harmful is a lifestyle change, it takes a desire, then a willingness to learn and change.

Recovery from abuse is a painful road but it is one anyone can take. The feelings that are no longer being pushed away will occur; they are real as is the thoughts that have plagued you for some time. These things can be fixed, you are not defective and you will heal. We find our way in this world when we set the intent to fix a problem; the answers are presented to us in many ways. Self-amends is the journey of healing, changing those things about self that stand in the way of the higher good, love. Learning to live with self can be frightening, different, and very rewarding. New doors open, loving people enter your life, the problems you use to find difficult to deal with now seem miniscule and the answers obvious. This is because you are now open to listen, to heal, and the universe is answering.

Recovery offers many lessons, from learning how to eat healthy and feel good about self to how to relate to others in a healthy way. Learning how to stand up for yourself, let others know that they cannot harm you, that you are not harming yourself any longer, noticing the red flags in relationships, and most important how to love yourself. “I love you,” is a difficult phrase to say to self, but it must be said, repeatedly. It will bring a smile to your face, heal the wounds and bring loving people into your life.

Give yourself a hug, take a moment to listen to the peace, feel the love that surrounds you. Deny the negative thinking, let it pass without emotion, just notice that it occurred and move on past it. Practice this consistently and one day you will wake up and find that the negative thinking and the painful emotions are no longer present. You will find freedom, a new life, a new presence in the world. Blessings.

An amends is not as simple as saying “I am sorry.” A friend years ago said if all you ever say is “I am sorry,” then all you will ever be is sorry. It is not a truthful amends, rather a placation with the intent of getting others to back off. As children we learn this behavior, mom says “Tell them you are sorry,” so you say “sorry,” or “I’m sorry,” without heart. Mom backs off and the world moves on until you repeat the behavior that had mom on your back the last time. There was no lesson in the first behavior, an apology is lacking. Nothing is solved and you have only learned that the best way to get everyone including mom to back off so you can keep doing what you want is to mouth the “I’m sorry.” It is not your fault, nor mom’s; this is one of those traits, traditions, passed on to the next generation. We learn at an early age what will get people to leave us alone, to ignore us and let us continue to behave according to that “feel good” motivation. This is a behavior that is paid little attention to as we grow up, part of being a child. As a mom I did the same thing, letting my son get away with the half-hearted “I’m sorry,” until one day I heard myself say “That is not an apology, you need to apologize.” From then I began teaching him how to say “I apologize for _______.”

The dictionary will give you a clear definition of each of these words, sorry and apology. Learning to understand their dictionary meaning is all fine and well; however, learning to understand the “feeling” difference in using these words is much more important. Sorry evokes a feeling that reflects the untruth behind the phrase, bringing with it the behaviors that also demonstrate there is no truth to the words. Listen to your body and mind when you say “I’m sorry.” It reflects the lessons of childhood when we just wanted to get mom or dad off our backs. Leave us alone and let us go on about our day, doing what we want even if it meant bringing harm to others, though not as an intent to harm. Most harm brought by children is meant to be out of fun, but as a child how do we understand that there are those things which may seem funny that are not. Self-centeredness means that all we can see is self, how self feels, what self thinks, experiencing within, not without, at least until someone repeats those behaviors or similar ones that cause pain. Hearing “I’m sorry,” will not help, perhaps a clear understanding will evolve if the explanation can reflect upon it. Remember how you felt when someone you cared about brought you some form of harm and simply said, “I’m sorry,” the emptiness and knowing that it was not heartfelt?

Yet an apology brings closure, allowing you to let go of the hurt, the slight and freeing you to feel good about the exchange and perhaps opening you to trust again. An apology feels heartfelt, think about how you feel when you say “I apologize,” you may even include what you are apologizing for. Listen to your body and mind; notice your attitude shift to include genuine forgiveness of self. When we learn to apologize for your behaviors, words spoken out of anger, unintentional slights, even being neglectful and harming is turned around, we become aware of our behaviors and find a choice is presented. The choice is to either repeat the behaviors now knowing the consequences and choosing to ignore them or changing the way we present self to others, finding a gentler and kinder way. An apology brings change, in some cases lasting change, in others it may take some time. There are many things one may do that will require more apologies, but hopefully not many.

Notice the difference in your attitude, physical and mental changes between the two phrases. It will not matter how much emotion you put into saying “I’m sorry,” the attitude is one of being sorry, not of apology and change. Sorry evokes self-pity, self-harm, not healing and changes that can bring you closer to self and then the world. Sorry is the fuel that will destroy you, whereas apology is the source of love and peace.

Making an amends means that you will make every effort to change, to not repeat the same mistake, that you are aware of where you are wrong and have made a conscious decision, a choice to change this aspect of self and bring about healing. An amends is the door to opportunity waiting to be open. The choice to make an amends is a personal one; consideration should be made as to your motive. Again looking at the difference between being sorry or apologizing, the difference is about selfishness or true healing. To be sorry is a motive driven by selfishness, the need to feel better and get it off your back, not a healthy attitude because the problem will continue to plague you, it will never go away. The incident, your part will continue to punish you because you were not honest with yourself for the reasons to make an amends. An amends is to clear your side of the street, take ownership of your mistakes, this does not make you a morally deficient person that deserves punishment, and rather it means that you understand self. You are now ready to be rid of the feelings, attitude and thoughts that brought your destruction, casting off the old ways and embracing a more spiritual life. It is a life changing decision to never behave in a manner that is self-destructive, remember “If I am not willing to bring harm to self, then I cannot possibly bring harm to another.” If it is love you wish to have in your life, and then give love.

Making an amends rather than a sorry statement will help you to bring more love and prosperity into your life. You will develop a level of awareness that you did not have and will be able to teach the children in your life how to make those changes early on and gain a better understanding of how they impact the world around them. This will bring everlasting global change to a world in dire need of more love and compassion, than war based on lies and hate. An amends opens the door to truth, teaches that making a mistake is not being a mistake, that there is no shame in owning mistakes, self-responsibility means that we love self and accept the humanness which can lead to mistakes. An amends says “I love you and me.”

Learn to listen. You will heal.

The hardest part of recovery is acceptance. Acceptance is the answer to overcoming all obstacles that enter your life. Acceptance that the substance, action or even emotions and thoughts are a part of your life.

In 12-step recovery the first three steps are the tools to build a foundation from and the basis for learning acceptance. The steps begin you on a journey to learning how to make a connection with the Universe, the Divine.

The definition of acceptance includes “the act of assenting or believing.” The favorable reception or approval is the other aspect to acceptance. This does not mean that you are not going to take action to make changes, it simply means that when you learn to accept the situation, thing, or attitude of someone else you can move beyond it. The result is that you will fell better about yourself.

Spiritual development begins with acceptance of life as it is, understanding that as individuals we each develop along the path that works for us. Each event, person, thought, and attitude that a person experiences serves a purpose at that time in their life. Until it does not work any longer.

Addiction involves any thing that alters our minds, moods and removes us from our depression, fear, and feelings of low self-esteem. Learning to accept the state in which you currently live your life is the first step to opening the door to change. Following this with the spiritual practices required to regain sanity and control over your life.

Taking this path of recovery is not a journey that should be taken alone. Finding someone who has trudged the path before you and can be a guide as well as a confidante is key to trudging the road of recovery. With the guidance of someone who demonstrates healthy, spiritual development you will find your way through the trials and tribulations of life. Especially early recovery that can be stressful and frightening.

For the more difficult, stressful aspects of recovery finding a professional may be required. Not everyone who has worked their 12-steps of recovery is capable of understanding or coping with the deeper fears and grief that some people enter recovery with. Trauma from childhood and adulthood are generally the reasons why we drink, use drugs and practice unsafe behaviors.

You are not alone.

Defining friendship seems an elusive task since each person requires something different. The only constant is the love and acceptance that another human being can offer. There is a need that is met when two people develop a friendship. Those needs are based upon past relationships, yet the elusive requirement that never seems to be met is acceptance, unconditional and without prejudice. This is the one quality in a relationship that takes time to develop along with trust. At times we are too impatient and demand our needs be met immediately.

Relationships occur in the instant you meet, exchange pleasantries and perhaps make a pact to develop the long term friendship or work relationship. Each form that the relationship takes has its unwritten rules. The first is that no harm shall be done, if it is let it not be intentional. This is the base for developing trust, something that is as elusive as defining relationships. What is real trust? We can say “I trust you.” However, is it the truth? Look to the feeling that accompanies the words, is there a sense of comfort throughout the body? Do you feel confident even an hour or more after speaking that commitment? Listen to the body, it will lend you the voice to speak the truth.

I want to love you without clutching,

Appreciate you without invading,

Invite you without demanding,

Leave you without guilt,

Criticize you without blaming,

& Help you without insulting.

If I can have the same from you

Then we can truly meet &

Enrich each other.

            Virginia Satir

Another view of friendship is to ask yourself if you are giving that which you ask of others? Are you gentle, non-judgmental, trustworthy? Do you speak well of those you seek to call friend, giving a favorable testimony about the person you know them to be? It is important to be as a good a friend as we ask others to be. In a work relationship, marriage or any other relationship we choose to embark giving what is asked will enhance the relationship and then when it is said “I trust you” there will be no remorse or doubt within the hour, day or week.

Make your list of what you seek in the relationship, choose the top five most important aspects to you, these are your true values. Do you embody them? Or is there perhaps an area you could focus on growing in? Gossip is a sign of mistrust, when you gossip with another it tells that person they cannot trust you. If you are seeking to be trusted then do not speak of others in any form that reflects ill will or prejudice.

Become the person you would choose as a friend. Listen to what you speak, how you feel and choose to seek love, joy and truth. It is not that we do not trust others; it is that we do not trust ourselves. Once we develop the trust within, then trusting others becomes second nature. Through self-trust you will know that acceptance of others is the key to feeling safe and secure. Self-trust means that you are your own best friend, you will take care of yourself in all situations and let no harm come. By not causing self-harm there is no harm due others. This is the highest goal in our lives, seek to harm none. Live in gratitude and love. Blessed Be.

          There are several remedies for depression on the market today, knowing which ones are effective and safe takes research. Treating depression with antidepressants can be tricky as these are manufactured to treat different types of depression. Depression is not the same for everyone and has many root causes. Making a list of your symptoms is advisable, but the general symptoms are irritability, lack of interests including friends, family and other activities, anxiety, fear, tearfulness, lack of energy, restlessness and inability to sleep. This is the short list of symptoms for some crying for no reason and easily angered are also common. Generally there is just that overall blah feeling and always tired.

            Depression can be caused by organic imbalances in the brain brought on by low quality nutrition. Not eating correctly can cause many health problems including cancer, diabetes and irritable bowel syndrome. There are thousands of research reports that demonstrate how important proper nutrition is. To balance the system you will want to look at changing the way you eat, this will help with healthy bodily functions and begin eliminating the toxins that can contribute to depression. This includes sugar, starches typically found in bread and pastas, processed foods, majority of canned foods because of the salts and preservatives, fast foods filled with fats, salts and sugars. Switching to a natural form of diet for your body type and blood type will be a great step towards eliminating depression and food cravings.

           St. John’s Wort, an herbal product that you can purchase as a capsule is reported to work well for depression. The standardized dose is based upon what is called an average human body, 5’3” to 6’ with a body weight of about 125 to 150. This is not exact but it is close to what is considered a standard, average person. Start with the standard dose and track your progress, this herb takes 6 to 8 weeks to begin working. So take it at the same time and according to the directions. DO NOT take this in conjunction with your antidepressants it has been known to intensify the depression with suicidal thoughts. Do not take if your are pregnant without proper medical advice. Anything you take will affect the fetus. Do not go sunbathing while taking this supplement, and watch for signs of constipation or allergic reactions. Other herbs you may wish to try includes basil, lemon balm, California poppy, mate, mugwort, passion flower, poppy seed, scarlet pimpernel, sweet marjoram. As with all herbal remedies watch for signs of allergic reaction, if your depression seems to worsen stop taking them. Each of these has their own personalities and can be very beneficial to your health. They may be used as a tea or in capsule form. Teas may be used three to four times daily, every day to be effective.

            Homeopathic remedies are prescribed according to your accompanying symptoms since homeopathy is based upon the premise that like treats like. One general remedy is nux vomica, the parts used of this plant are the dried bark and seeds. Nux vomica is a native tree to Asia, Pakistan and Vietnam. If using the herb be extremely careful as too much is toxic and deadly. Purchasing the homeopathic version in pill form is safer and nux vomica will treat more than just depression. The other symptoms include inflammation, gastric problems, stimulate the appetite and rheumatic pain, to name just a few. To purchase and read more click here! (link)

            The next supplement today is SAMe, the technical name is S-Adenosyl-L-Methionine. SAMe is a natural occurring molecule in our cells and is reported to treat not only depression but arthritis and liver disorders (WebMD). SAMe comes in doses of 400 and 800 mg. and can be taken twice daily in either dose. There does not seem to be any side effects or warnings.

            WARNING: Do not stop taking your medications without first discussing it with your doctor. It is unsafe to just stop taking medications; you should talk with your doctor about weaning you off of them. Withdrawal can cause suicidal thoughts, create worse depression and other problems.

            This is not intended as a diagnosis or medical advice. The information printed here has been collected from the following resources:

WebMD http://www.webmd.com/depression/news/20041202/dietary-supplement-ups-antidepressant-effect

PDR for Herbal Medicines 4^thed (2007) Thomson Healthcare, Inc Montvale, NJ

See my resources page for more information.

Post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a relatively new diagnosis, despite the time it seems to be in existence. A diagnosis for war veterans, it now includes anyone who has experienced trauma. Trauma is the result of any event that is deemed catastrophic by an individual. This can range from witnessing a crime to being the victim of a crime or accident. The after affect is what this diagnosis is concerned with, including but not limited to the nightmares, reliving the event, ruminations that cause stress and anxiety and the physical ills that follow. Disorder is the terminal affects of trauma, which ranges from seemingly minimal impact to catastrophic impact where the person is near incapable of coping in her/his world. It is a constant state of hyper vigilance, always on the watch for another attack, the flinching reaction when there is motion that occurs near the person, emotional responses that seem out of control, the withdrawal from the world, and several other symptoms that tell a story. Without help the condition can become worse, but with improper diagnosis it can be worsened. Living in this state of stress is an experience not to be wished upon anyone. Finding help is near impossible when your income is low and the promise of work is empty. County programs are insufficient, the placing one on medication and very little support because there is not enough to go around. Falling through the cracks is the result.

            Medications can offer a temporary solution that is until the body adapts and the side effects take hold. After a period of time the side effects increase, for example the increased blood pressure, worsening vision, heightened emotions, and that sense of going crazy because it is next to impossible to grasp some of the simplest concepts. This last is difficult to describe, but that sense something is forgotten is always there, then there is that awareness of being mistreated by others. A part of a belief system created through the years of trauma. This brings yet another aspect to this problem, the repetition of patterns, matters not if they are good or bad.

Talk therapy is a great start to any issue; it begins to sort the information that sits in the back of one’s mind causing chaos. It is not enough, there comes a time when action must occur otherwise you keep rehashing the same information, doing the same things, making the same mistakes and nothing really gets better. You find there is something missing, just never sure what. Yet for some spending their days in talk therapy is perfectly alright. For me, there is more to do, moving beyond the dependence of talking everything to death.

As one who has been living inside of the disease I can tell you that each treatment has its limits and serves to ignore the most important aspect of the human, the entire person. What this means to me is the mental, physical, spiritual, somatic, emotional, neuro-physical, and all the other parts that seem to get clumped up into one mass solution. Until the disorder is treated holistically recovery is not possible. A difficult quest, exhausting and at times a sense of helplessness, there is no other choice but to face the problems, look within and make the changes that healing will bring. Somatic healing is the key to a holistic balance in life. Somatic healing takes you to those memories that the mind just cannot seem to reach on its own. The journey is very rewarding and healing feels terrific.

Begin with listening to the breath, listen as it enters through the nose and into the lungs. Feel it as it move out through the throat and passes over your lips, keeping a slight smile. Follow this breath for the count of three. No thought but the focus of breath, no action but the stillness of body and the slight smile upon your face. Just be, sitting in the emptiness for the count of three breaths. Upon the last exhale, let it hang a bit longer and hold for the count of three. Stretch and feel your muscles reach out and expand. Reach over your head, then reach for your toes, stretching for as far as you can, then stand up and reach outward on all sides and for the ceiling. Stretch down for the toes. Let your muscles move freely and listen reminding yourself that this is your body, your muscles and your breath. Then get into your day. Practice this at least twice a day for the next week pay attention to the tension, let it rest. Use your journal after each meditation and record what you hear. Free journal, no monitoring of thoughts or reflections, let it flow. This is your dialogue, for your eyes and ears only. Then set it aside with a statement of gratitude and move into your day.

If you have difficulty sleeping at night keep your journal handy, repeat the breath exercise and record your thoughts in the journal. Let the thoughts rest there, written on the page and close the cover, quietly stating this is where I leave the worry and fear, written on this page. Express your gratitude to the Deity you believe in. As you close your eyes count backwards from 25 to 1, with each number state “I am relaxing my body, letting the stress release into the care of my guardians.” With each breath and number relax and let sleep come peacefully. If you reach the number 15 then begin reciting quietly “I am resting peacefully, I will sleep comfortably and awaken refreshed.” Repeat this at least three times and let yourself sleep.  

These meditations will take regular use to begin to work comfortably for you. In the beginning it is difficult because of expectations, but set those aside and remind yourself there is no perfect way to meditate or heal the wounds. Practice is how we learn and become expert in all things. It has taken you years to learn to care for self the way you have been, it will take you time to undo those things that no longer serve you.

I have faith in you. You can do this, you can learn to care for self and overcome the burdens that were placed upon you by others. If you require further guidance see my contact page. I am there for you. I believe in you.

My next article will cover the holistic supplements to help you with depression and pain. If you cannot wait, contact me now.

Runes can be very informative once you learn the meaning of each symbol. However, like all guides, books, written words, they are decipherable according to the individual. What I mean by this is as humans we tend to lend our needs and wants to the source of inspiration. Our autobiography gives us meaning to all things life.

Today I dusted off my rune bag and book, pulled a rune. Seeking to grant an idea and concept for you to meditate on.

The chosen rune X, Gifu, means gift. This rune cannot be cast in a reverse position, however it can be negated by surrounding runes in a spread. Alone as I have pulled it today says that this day offers many wondrous opportunities. Gifu offers many surprises such as a possible partnership, a romantic connection, relief from troubles, heralding a time of peace, just a few ideas to consider.

Gifu is a gift, the coming of gifts, it can also mean it is time to gift. Do you offer assistance, even a smile to someone who seems to be in need? When you are in public do you smile at people as you pass them by or do you avert your gaze? Especially with the homeless and seemingly less fortunate? Give the gift of a smile and warm hello, then move on through your day. Random kindness without regard to return or what is in it for you.

We face a rough economical time, one in which there is need for teams, working together and lending a kind word if you have nothing else to give. Show kindness through out your day even to those who seem to be a bother. The reward will be present, by the end of your day the calm and peace will embrace you and give back the wonders gifted in your day.

All any of us want is to be treated with kindness and respect. To be treated as a human being, it matters not the station in life. A smile is the one thing you can give that will not harm you or anyone else, will not detract from your finances and make you go hungry.

Gifu, the gift. Runic symbol: X

PS The book I use to guide me is written by Lisa Peschel an experienced woman in rune creation and castings.

The path to spirit is not a straight and uneventful path. If it was so easy to get spiritual more people would be there. Developing a spiritual life has nothing to do with the religion one chooses to follow. It has everything to do with personal beliefs, mind set and attitude.

Spirituality is defined can be defined as a state of mind. Finding the place where nothing bothers, hurts or defines the self. Is that possible? Yes, a simple question or two can put the event into perspective.

The first step in developing a spiritual life is to make it a way of life. Find a form of meditation that works for you. Try the Tibetan Buddhism use of primordial sound chants, these clear each chakra and balance the spirit. The universal sound of Ohm is another sound chant that helps to center the spirit and the body, creating an opening for energy. Other meditations that will work is to just sit and breath. Following Yoga practices, as well as Zen Buddhism, you will learn to follow your breath and focus only on it. This is a terrific take anywhere with you skill to reduce stress in less time that it takes medication to work.

Centering in spirit brings you to a place of calm, understanding and awareness. This is your best defence against the world and the many problems. Once you find a path use it every day, practice as often as possible, but as minimal as three times per day. Upon awakening, at lunch and prior to bed time are terrific times to sit with the quiet of your breath.

Journal what is bothering you. Let those worries have their say through your writing. Once the worries are done, ask why does this bother me? What is the reason I have let this (fill in the blank) affect me? The answer is there, listen and do not be afraid of hearing it. Awareness means that change is possible, it will happen and the more these simple steps are used the better equiped you will be to deal with the world.

With the basics of spiritual practices it becomes possible to quit smoking, drinking, drug use/abuse, gambling and a mirade of other issues that stand in the way of happiness.

Remember it is a new habit, so if you forget, practice when you remember. Make a note to meditate, put it where you will see it. Sticky note to the alarm clock, on the mirror, with those things you pick up upon leaving in the morning. For those long commutes practice following the breath, just do not close your eyes, duh. The first step to developing a new habit is to remind, then be patient.

You can do this, I know you can.

Recently I realized that there are some terms, words, phrases and such that others would rather not listen to, moods and attitudes many strive to ignore. Not like that is a new concept to me, but for some reason it rang loudly enough to me this time that I decided an article was required. Perhaps no one will read this, if they do perhaps ignore it, because what is contained within is a long story made short, a tale of awakening and defining.

A friend of mine wrote a simple line that brought a shift in awareness, it ended with the phrase loosely translated “speak of suffering!” It was in reference to groups who get together, form for a common cause, share like ideas, yet have a low tolerance for others who still suffer, basically. After sleeping on it I realized that what I write could be construed accordingly as suffering, then this morning it rang louder and I heard clearly that the way I write, communicating my journey there are those who would hear suffering. So I decided today to define it, sharing what it truly means, the concept of suffering and recovery.

As my journey unfolds awareness is stronger, sight is clearer and sounds distinct, no longer is my world gray and dull where the voices drone on and the muck wears me down. I have traveled a long, difficult journey, one that I am told should have killed me years ago and that many have died from. There are those who ask me why I chose the path I have, facing the beasts of my youth, submerging myself in the emotions, grief, fear and rage. The answer is simple, freedom. Anyone who has lived in prisons, slavery, servitude, especially in other countries where this is a way of life, victims to those with the power, would understand what it means to face these horrors and defeat them. For those who would rather pretend it never happened the result is severe and debilitating illness leading eventually to an early death. I speak of post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), left untreated it will kill. Keeping secret those things the world says is shameful, ugly and cruel, allows for the disease to take hold. No one should ever have to live this way; no one should ever have to be a victim. But, the sad truth is people are the cruelest on this planet, there are those who have perfected cruelty and suffering.

Suffering is a state of a person or animal or thing, in which pain, loss and/or injury has occurred, as defined at Dictionary.com. One suffers at the hands of another or an accident, matters not how it occurs, it is the result of some form of injury, whether it is violence by another or an accident. Suffering occurs when this injury is left untreated, prolonging the event, and yes during the commissions of such violence one does suffer. However, when there is a choice to recovery or suffer, this is a crossroads that many cannot seem to choose between, thereby holding onto the pain and horror inflicted upon them.

Recovery is the allowance to heal, to regain that which was lost, to recover what was taken away. Learning to understand what this entails is a personal journey, much the same as the initial trauma. People are individuals, yet one, culture shapes the way each experiences shared traumas and choose to live after, the majority would rather forget it ever happened in hopes in convincing them that it will go away and never bother them. That is impossible! Although one may find a place in their pain that they can cope and manage for some time, but it still affects them, physically their bodies are continuing to deal with it. I will not cover all the health concerns hear, that is already covered extensively on several other sites, simply do a search for post traumatic stress disorder and thousands of pages turn up as do support groups.

Suffering is a choice, a state of mind, one that is a personal choice; it is not something that anyone else can determine. That determination is based upon their journey in life, the culture that shapes the belief system that holds them in place. When the decision is made to recover there is plenty to shed, healing is a process and it always seems to get worse before it gets better. Healing means allowing for the awakening, taking an active role in listening to self, those inner voices that have guided to repeating the painful cycle, finding a place of acceptance then moving into a place of self-love. Recovery is a journey that takes us to caring for self, loving and sharing strength and love. It means learning to understand that process and defining it so that it can create the change in this world, becoming educated about every area of life, the trauma does not need to continue. It is not necessary however to remember the events of the trauma, it is necessary however to move past it.

Find your voice, the one that says “I love you for the person you are, regardless of your past.” The one that continues to encourage you to move through the grief, pain and anguish that was your companion for so long, letting it go and finding true joy beyond. It is possible to change every area within and create the person you were born to be, someone who is Divine. It is not a journey one should take alone, choose the right group or person who will always tolerate, be patient and understand that this is your personal journey, not theirs. Those who are not patient, who ask too many questions, and want to lecture you on how not to do this, well, be patient with them, they have not recovered themselves. No one can deal with another’s pain and suffering until they have healed their own. You have the right to be selective, to protect self and to nourish your soul and hear it sing.

Know that suffering and recovery are a choice, personal; no one can make that decision for you. However, there are those who will tolerate and be patient with every area of your recovery, there are professionals that are becoming educated on the different types of PTSD, and will teach you how to move beyond it yourself. Be patient with those who do not understand and you will find patience for self, you are their mirror, a reflection of themselves. Love them through your recovery and be the change we so desperately need in this world. You can do it, I know you can.