Spiritual Living

The hardest part of recovery is acceptance. Acceptance is the answer to overcoming all obstacles that enter your life. Acceptance that the substance, action or even emotions and thoughts are a part of your life.

In 12-step recovery the first three steps are the tools to build a foundation from and the basis for learning acceptance. The steps begin you on a journey to learning how to make a connection with the Universe, the Divine.

The definition of acceptance includes “the act of assenting or believing.” The favorable reception or approval is the other aspect to acceptance. This does not mean that you are not going to take action to make changes, it simply means that when you learn to accept the situation, thing, or attitude of someone else you can move beyond it. The result is that you will fell better about yourself.

Spiritual development begins with acceptance of life as it is, understanding that as individuals we each develop along the path that works for us. Each event, person, thought, and attitude that a person experiences serves a purpose at that time in their life. Until it does not work any longer.

Addiction involves any thing that alters our minds, moods and removes us from our depression, fear, and feelings of low self-esteem. Learning to accept the state in which you currently live your life is the first step to opening the door to change. Following this with the spiritual practices required to regain sanity and control over your life.

Taking this path of recovery is not a journey that should be taken alone. Finding someone who has trudged the path before you and can be a guide as well as a confidante is key to trudging the road of recovery. With the guidance of someone who demonstrates healthy, spiritual development you will find your way through the trials and tribulations of life. Especially early recovery that can be stressful and frightening.

For the more difficult, stressful aspects of recovery finding a professional may be required. Not everyone who has worked their 12-steps of recovery is capable of understanding or coping with the deeper fears and grief that some people enter recovery with. Trauma from childhood and adulthood are generally the reasons why we drink, use drugs and practice unsafe behaviors.

You are not alone.

Defining friendship seems an elusive task since each person requires something different. The only constant is the love and acceptance that another human being can offer. There is a need that is met when two people develop a friendship. Those needs are based upon past relationships, yet the elusive requirement that never seems to be met is acceptance, unconditional and without prejudice. This is the one quality in a relationship that takes time to develop along with trust. At times we are too impatient and demand our needs be met immediately.

Relationships occur in the instant you meet, exchange pleasantries and perhaps make a pact to develop the long term friendship or work relationship. Each form that the relationship takes has its unwritten rules. The first is that no harm shall be done, if it is let it not be intentional. This is the base for developing trust, something that is as elusive as defining relationships. What is real trust? We can say “I trust you.” However, is it the truth? Look to the feeling that accompanies the words, is there a sense of comfort throughout the body? Do you feel confident even an hour or more after speaking that commitment? Listen to the body, it will lend you the voice to speak the truth.

I want to love you without clutching,

Appreciate you without invading,

Invite you without demanding,

Leave you without guilt,

Criticize you without blaming,

& Help you without insulting.

If I can have the same from you

Then we can truly meet &

Enrich each other.

            Virginia Satir

Another view of friendship is to ask yourself if you are giving that which you ask of others? Are you gentle, non-judgmental, trustworthy? Do you speak well of those you seek to call friend, giving a favorable testimony about the person you know them to be? It is important to be as a good a friend as we ask others to be. In a work relationship, marriage or any other relationship we choose to embark giving what is asked will enhance the relationship and then when it is said “I trust you” there will be no remorse or doubt within the hour, day or week.

Make your list of what you seek in the relationship, choose the top five most important aspects to you, these are your true values. Do you embody them? Or is there perhaps an area you could focus on growing in? Gossip is a sign of mistrust, when you gossip with another it tells that person they cannot trust you. If you are seeking to be trusted then do not speak of others in any form that reflects ill will or prejudice.

Become the person you would choose as a friend. Listen to what you speak, how you feel and choose to seek love, joy and truth. It is not that we do not trust others; it is that we do not trust ourselves. Once we develop the trust within, then trusting others becomes second nature. Through self-trust you will know that acceptance of others is the key to feeling safe and secure. Self-trust means that you are your own best friend, you will take care of yourself in all situations and let no harm come. By not causing self-harm there is no harm due others. This is the highest goal in our lives, seek to harm none. Live in gratitude and love. Blessed Be.