Jan 10 2009
Suffering vs Recovery
Recently I realized that there are some terms, words, phrases and such that others would rather not listen to, moods and attitudes many strive to ignore. Not like that is a new concept to me, but for some reason it rang loudly enough to me this time that I decided an article was required. Perhaps no one will read this, if they do perhaps ignore it, because what is contained within is a long story made short, a tale of awakening and defining.
A friend of mine wrote a simple line that brought a shift in awareness, it ended with the phrase loosely translated “speak of suffering!” It was in reference to groups who get together, form for a common cause, share like ideas, yet have a low tolerance for others who still suffer, basically. After sleeping on it I realized that what I write could be construed accordingly as suffering, then this morning it rang louder and I heard clearly that the way I write, communicating my journey there are those who would hear suffering. So I decided today to define it, sharing what it truly means, the concept of suffering and recovery.
As my journey unfolds awareness is stronger, sight is clearer and sounds distinct, no longer is my world gray and dull where the voices drone on and the muck wears me down. I have traveled a long, difficult journey, one that I am told should have killed me years ago and that many have died from. There are those who ask me why I chose the path I have, facing the beasts of my youth, submerging myself in the emotions, grief, fear and rage. The answer is simple, freedom. Anyone who has lived in prisons, slavery, servitude, especially in other countries where this is a way of life, victims to those with the power, would understand what it means to face these horrors and defeat them. For those who would rather pretend it never happened the result is severe and debilitating illness leading eventually to an early death. I speak of post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), left untreated it will kill. Keeping secret those things the world says is shameful, ugly and cruel, allows for the disease to take hold. No one should ever have to live this way; no one should ever have to be a victim. But, the sad truth is people are the cruelest on this planet, there are those who have perfected cruelty and suffering.
Suffering is a state of a person or animal or thing, in which pain, loss and/or injury has occurred, as defined at Dictionary.com. One suffers at the hands of another or an accident, matters not how it occurs, it is the result of some form of injury, whether it is violence by another or an accident. Suffering occurs when this injury is left untreated, prolonging the event, and yes during the commissions of such violence one does suffer. However, when there is a choice to recovery or suffer, this is a crossroads that many cannot seem to choose between, thereby holding onto the pain and horror inflicted upon them.
Recovery is the allowance to heal, to regain that which was lost, to recover what was taken away. Learning to understand what this entails is a personal journey, much the same as the initial trauma. People are individuals, yet one, culture shapes the way each experiences shared traumas and choose to live after, the majority would rather forget it ever happened in hopes in convincing them that it will go away and never bother them. That is impossible! Although one may find a place in their pain that they can cope and manage for some time, but it still affects them, physically their bodies are continuing to deal with it. I will not cover all the health concerns hear, that is already covered extensively on several other sites, simply do a search for post traumatic stress disorder and thousands of pages turn up as do support groups.
Suffering is a choice, a state of mind, one that is a personal choice; it is not something that anyone else can determine. That determination is based upon their journey in life, the culture that shapes the belief system that holds them in place. When the decision is made to recover there is plenty to shed, healing is a process and it always seems to get worse before it gets better. Healing means allowing for the awakening, taking an active role in listening to self, those inner voices that have guided to repeating the painful cycle, finding a place of acceptance then moving into a place of self-love. Recovery is a journey that takes us to caring for self, loving and sharing strength and love. It means learning to understand that process and defining it so that it can create the change in this world, becoming educated about every area of life, the trauma does not need to continue. It is not necessary however to remember the events of the trauma, it is necessary however to move past it.
Find your voice, the one that says “I love you for the person you are, regardless of your past.” The one that continues to encourage you to move through the grief, pain and anguish that was your companion for so long, letting it go and finding true joy beyond. It is possible to change every area within and create the person you were born to be, someone who is Divine. It is not a journey one should take alone, choose the right group or person who will always tolerate, be patient and understand that this is your personal journey, not theirs. Those who are not patient, who ask too many questions, and want to lecture you on how not to do this, well, be patient with them, they have not recovered themselves. No one can deal with another’s pain and suffering until they have healed their own. You have the right to be selective, to protect self and to nourish your soul and hear it sing.
Know that suffering and recovery are a choice, personal; no one can make that decision for you. However, there are those who will tolerate and be patient with every area of your recovery, there are professionals that are becoming educated on the different types of PTSD, and will teach you how to move beyond it yourself. Be patient with those who do not understand and you will find patience for self, you are their mirror, a reflection of themselves. Love them through your recovery and be the change we so desperately need in this world. You can do it, I know you can.
